Posted by Bernard on Jul 31, '09 3:43 AM for everyone  Parenting can be a tough cookie to bite, hard to understand and difficult to go through. There are 3 phases parents go through.
If there are three words you'd like to remember, this might be it. Three phases on parenting:
a. CONTROLLING b. CONVINCING c. COACHING
CONTROLLING Our tots cannot understand dissertations on obedience. Explanation might be fruitless with a 10 month old child. As toddlers and pre-schoolers, they only know how to go and stop. Thinking, analysis and comprehension is not their prime gifts. We need to understand at pre-schooling age our main concern is their physical safety. There are even times we give little thought about how they feel.
If its good for them, do it. If its safe for them get it. Safety and physical care is our main concern.
Principle of External Control The lesser the internal control, the more need for external control. Children from age 0 -2 needs lots of external control.If parents are loose in external control, toddlers and pre-schoolers will learn to live without boundaries.
On the other hand, extreme control is not also advisable. Parents need to avoid parenting technique called the "Abast" principle. The older they get, the more the reason for such control measures. "Abast" principle is a simple cut and dry command that makes kids shut up and just obey. It is effective for parents with toddlers and pre schooler. Its also a favorite of the legalistic and militaristic dads.
When the kids ask "Why dad?" the only thing a parent should say is "Abast-a", and the whole conversation grinds to a halt. I learned this principle from Congressman Rozzano Rufino Biazon whose Dad used to be the AFP Chief of staff (but not inferring that he uses this technique).
"Abast" principle is useful for kids ranging from 0 - 2 years old (plus-minus). Try it to your teenagers and "A blast" is what you'll get (sorry for the pun).
CONVINCING
Influencing or convincing is another parenting stage. When kids reach the age 13 and up ... we need to lead their kids in a loving, and most convincing manner. Its not all control. When kids reach the age of reasoning, parents must use that ability to reason and come up with a very convincing and teen-logical decision (if there is such).
GOAL: Our kids needs to be convinced that God's way is the best way. The world will convince them otherwise. Worldly friends will tell them the opposite.
3 Areas to convince our kids: - God is good. - God has a great plan for their life. - Jesus wants to be their best friend (Good times or Bad times).
When kids grow from 13 onwards, they start looking for their own identity, belongingness and purpose for existence. We need to point them to the word for security, direction and counsel. Also expose them to godly friends.
COACHING
Coaching is not shouting or directing their lives as we see in basketball coaching. It is more helping them realize their best options. Its guiding them from point A to Point B.
Coaching is best done by asking right question and not merely giving out answer, opinions or suggestions. In the coaching stage we let them realize its their life, its their choices and that each choice has a corresponding consequences.
Coaching is nothing but helping: helping them clarify confusing situations, clarify priorities, and clarify best options. Its walking along side with them as a sounding board and their mentor.
Some good reminders:
"Coaches have to watch for what they don't want to see and listen to what they don't want to hear." John Madden
"A good coach will make his players see what they can be
rather than what they are."
Ara Parasheghian
“The test of a good coach is that when they leave,
others will carry on successfully.” “You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them,
but by building a fire within.”
Bob Nelson Posted by Bernard on Jul 29, '09 6:58 AM for everyone  I claim no expertise in teen talks. But with the help of my 16-14-12 year old kids, I have become a student once again. Here are some of my findings:
1. Teens need space. Teens are somewhat similar to pregnant women giving birth, they like you around but not too close. Babies love being touched. Most teens hate being touched by their parents. David would always remind me to stop touching him (especially my crawling fingers around his shoulders). Teens love space. Try removing their door .... its world war 4.
2. Not every battle is a major battle. Parents can sometimes make their teens go crazy. "Gerard, your hair please... Ajeng change your skirt please... Jun Jun please stop slurping your soup. Haaaaayyyy mother." From nails to boogers, from closet to slippers, from loud music to picking their nose... parents can sometimes major on the minor.
Choose important battles. Leave some for their discovery. When teens get comments from their friends, they'll know. Stay on the watch for the major stuff like, passion, friends, habits and direction.
3. Invite their friends to eat and play in your house. My kids love it when I enjoy their friends. I ask their friends to eat dinner, merienda and serve them juice while they play. Kids are proud when their parents are generous to their friends. 4. Decide ahead. Be proactive. When correcting your teens, plan your approach way before it happens. Simulate worst case scenarios and then see yourself responding properly. Decide ahead to unconditionally accept, decide ahead to never compare, decide ahead to ask for forgiveness when you're wrong. Reactive parents aggravate simple problems. 5. Listen actively. Kids wants space but they need you at hearing distance. Listen not only to their content but also to their non verbal cues. Most of them have a hard time communicating. Never assume. Ask them to repeat what they said if its unclear. 6. Talk to them about sex, drugs and life's realities. Teens hate it when they are being treated as kids. Stop using the word "pingping" or "toytoy" when referring to private parts. Say the real words. Ask them what they know already. You'll be shocked what they'll tell you. Try it. Kids are not stupid. Don't insult them by spoon feeding them and making all the decisions for them. Never under estimate their power to make good decisions. So train them right. 7. Ask teens what they have in mind. Kids have their own plans. Talk to them. When they are asking you what is the sked for the weekend, they are actually thinking if they can squeeze in their plans with yours. 8. Be forgiving. Kids can really make poor decision. When they commit major mistakes in life, will you still accept them, love them and still believe in their potential? 9. Don't be unreasonable. Some parents are overbearing. Too many demands. Never trusting their kids. Parents can sometimes become paranoid about friends, activities, environment, weather, clothing, neighbor, passerby or even the police. 10. Be a good example. You want honesty, be one. You want them to be polite, then stop shouting at them. You want character, show them how to live. Your actions more than your words are critical in helping teens adopt good moral behavior and standards. Posted by Bernard on Jul 27, '09 12:08 PM for everyone  USED TO BE... OR DO I NEED TO GET USED TO THESE. Used to be... when I get home my kids run to me and hug me and hover around me. Used to be... when they kiss - me sound pa. MWAH talaga. Used to be... when my kids hug, it's tight and long. Used to be... when I say I am going out they all want to go with me. Now they ask, "What's the plan?" What happened? That 's my big question. Now my kids pat me on the back instead of a big hug. They give me their forehead instead of a loud smack in the cheek. They have plans of their own for the weekend. They need more money than ever. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy! What's happening, you might ask.
Change. Change. Change People say at a certain age kids change. I realize that the age 13 is the turning point. In the Jewish culture age 13 is year they celebrate as the passage of a child to adulthood. They call it Bar-mitzvah (for boys) Bat-mitzvah (for girls). This is the period for the many changes a child is going through. Age has got to be it. It's not pure rebellion. Don't blame the devil too much. It's a forced change for parents. It's a call to be a student once again. We need to learn again and be a student of our kids. Just like when you turn forty, big change starts manifesting in your sight. When kids turn 13, change starts happening. It's an inner metamorphosis plus a little noticeable change in their physique. Here are some of the changes in a teenager's life - wanting more freedom, challenging your ideas, taking risks , trying new things, viewing friends as better counselors than their parents, having relationships and staying out late and many more. We need to understand several things, our kids are: - Dealing with new sexual feelings and their maturing body
- Realizing the need for new life skills - problem solving, decision making, negotiation and conflict resolution.
- Working out a system of values and morals that will help them survive in the new world they are in.
- Working with friendships and relationships to fit in and belong in groups and communities.
- Searching out for their identity and their chance to make an impact in the world they live in.
What do you do when this stage hit you? Let's talk about this and follow this thread and post your questions here. Let's talk about things that bother you, things that becomes a wedge between you and your child, dead ends in your parenting. Posted by Bernard on Jun 29, '09 12:39 PM for everyone Confirmation message is what I always see in my email.He added you... He commented... etc... etc...
Face book is so addicting.
You wake up - you check status. Before you sleep - you check replies.
But how many of us do this with the Lord?
Do you wake up seeking his friendship? favor? fellowship? Do you go to bed hoping you will see Him again tomorrow?
David's psalm reads: "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,..." Ps 63:1
ARE YOU CONTENT WITH JESUS? OR ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MORE?
Jesus wants to meet and fellowship with you daily. He longs for a strong, intimate relationship.
Three most important truth I learned in life: 1. God loves you 2. God has a plan for your life 3. Jesus wants to be your best friend
I hope we are more interested with the Lamb's book of life than face book of the web. Posted by Bernard on Jun 29, '09 3:22 AM for everyone After a good and busy January to June, I know pulling away and recreating with my family is the best thing I can invest my time with. We are now enjoying a late summer break and enjoying Hong Kong and doing somethings we've never done before. As a entrepreneur, I remember going to Hong Kong twice a year to purchase my accessories for my garments business and attend fashion week conventions. Hong Kong has a dear place in my heart. I love the people, the culture and the work that God is doing amongst the chinese people. I remember precious moments doing short term outreaches in China and Hong Kong as well. Today, I went to church and saw Pastor Sam Ng leading this wonderful church (ENHK). This is so encouraging. I believe the future of Hong Kong church is huge. But the greatest encouragement is to see my family, spending time together. I know one day a time will come and they will have their own individual lives. I am trying to make the most of my time knowing them. I cannot forget one time my wife and I had a talk about our valuables, vaults and the kids. As a businessman, I used to frequent our vault to deposit valuable stuff, documents and cash. But now as a pastor, I use the vault to keep my valuable treasures - such as memoires, pictures, negatives(film) and important documents. I remember one sunday, Ivy and the family are on our way to go to church and I saw Ivy opening our vault at home. As we depart home and were approaching the main highway, I asked Ivy whether she closed the vault. She paused..... and then said hmmmm. "Ya, I think I did". Knowing that our helper was new and the masters bedroom was open, I freaked out. I said, "What do you mean 'I think I did'." Then I asked again to make sure I got a response I so desperately wanted. A firm "YES". But she can't communicate with conviction that she indeed close the vault. With disbelief I panicked. Then she paused and told me to stop. She motioned and said, "Honey, do not worry all your valuables are here in the car. I never left any at home." With that I felt rebuked and assured that there is nothing more important than my kids. Thanks Ivy for reminding me that you and the kids will forever be the greatest national treasure I will ever have. Let's have a great time together and make memories. Hong Kong, Live it, Love it! Posted by Bernard on Jun 25, '09 4:54 PM for everyone "Trust the Lord, and lean not in your own understanding"
The same God who brought us out of darkness will also bring us into further victory.
The same bible that opened our eyes will also enlighten the path we will be threading upon.
The same spirit who delivered us will also enable us to be what He has called us to be.
Let us not be wise in our own eyes. Let us not trust too much in our human wits, understanding and so called 'wise planning'. For God will still use simple faith to moving our complicated mountains. Let us be genius in our faith and humble in our approach.
Let us fix our gaze on our author and our faith's perfector.
What do you think will bring you there: Your wits or His power?
There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. 1Cor. 12:6 Posted by Bernard on Jun 3, '09 7:36 PM for everyone This is my Plan A. Spend time with my wife, traveling abroad, learning the deep things of God, maybe living in Israel for a season, stay 2-3 months in Cuba/Brazil/Argentina to learn percussion and dance latin grooves, teach the bible in every continent, see my kids and grand kids often and enjoy them in our big ancestral home, establish a good estate for my kids to enjoy and be the best in family ministry and counseling.
Plan A can be summed up in this words: Learn, Live, Love, and leave a Legacy.
Now, where am I at the moment. Am at the Fort, a pastor, a father of three teenage kids, barely have enough to build a house, barely free to travel every other month, have lots of friends, lives in Cavite, travels 1 1/2 hours to work. Am still far from reaching my Plan A. But I have to do this first, if I really want to get to my plan A.
My plan A is not going to work is I don't do my Plan B.
Plan B is the boring, everyday chores, small faithfulness that will help me reach my Plan A.
My plan A needs lots of money, huge amount of free time and good health. So before I get there, I need to be good at doing my Plan B.
Do you know your plan A? Now, Have you identified your Plan B so you can be free to do your Plan A?
Be faithful in small things.
“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things (Plan B); I will put you in charge of many things (Plan A)." ----- Matt. 25:21
Posted by Bernard on May 13, '09 12:27 PM for everyone  David's super Black macbook computer is up for sale. He is going desktop.
Its a super laptop, powered by 4G RAM - you'll never experience pinwheel. The new macbook silver cannot compete with its speed.
It comes with a clear protective shield and all loaded with latest mac software. You know naman David (Tech-y).
Cost is P 43,0000 only.
Text Me 09189797976 if interested.
Posted by Bernard on May 13, '09 12:27 PM for everyone David's super Black macbook computer is up for sale. He is going desktop.
Its a super laptop, powered by 4G RAM - you'll never experience pinwheel. The new macbook silver cannot compete with its speed.
It comes with a clear protective shield and all loaded with latest mac software. You know naman David (Tech-y).
Cost is P 43,0000 only. Bought it for P 85,0000.
Text Me 09189797976 if interested.
Posted by Bernard on Apr 18, '09 9:09 PM for everyone I want to link Ruffy's Blog On Priorities.
A Champion blog.
Quote:
After reading the papers, I did some reflection on what I had read about what’s going on in the country. In Facebook, I posted what was on my mind---“God, family, country. In that order.”
My Facebook contacts posted their own reactions, which varied although most agreed with my statement. Some posted their own beliefs, such as “God, Country, Family” and one even included his “Fraternity” after “God, Country, Family”. A true fratman, if I may say so.
With the varying responses, I wouldn’t dare to say who is right or who is wrong. I cannot be the judge of that. We all have our own value systems and I don’t think we are in a position to judge each other on that.
But I do believe that we should be accountable for those value systems we have and in my case, my accountability may be seen from the statement I made. Above anything or anyone else in this world, I am first accountable to God. Everything else comes and follows after that. Judging by the responses of those who reacted to what I posted, it seems that that is one thing everybody agrees on.
So why did I say that it’s “God, Family, Country. In that order”? Why doesn’t Country come ahead of Family?
As stated, I first hold myself accountable to God because as a believer, that is the direct offshoot of my faith in Him. As my creator, I believe that my purpose is live my life according to His desire and standards.
Anyone who has read that best-seller “A Purpose Driven Life” knows the logic of the Creator’s Purpose--- that a thing is created with a specific reason and purpose, therefore it is necessary for that creation to fulfill its purpose. For myself, believing in my Creator necessitates that I know His purpose for my life and for me to pursue that purpose.
Why does the family come before country?
As a public official, I am guided by the purpose set out by God for me, as stated in the Creator’s Manual for Life, the Bible. In that reference, it is clearly stated that before one leads over others in the community (or country), one must first be able to show leadership and good governance over one’s family.
1 Timothy 3:1-5 says: “Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”
The importance of the family is emphasized even in our own Constitution which recognizes that “the family is a basic autonomous social institution” and the State“shall protect and strengthen” it.
It is my belief that the obligation to govern over one’s family first is not just an obligation of those who lead the community or country but of each and every person who considers himself a faithful believer and loyal citizen. The foundation of the country is the family, therefore, it is imperative that we all take part in firming up and strengthening that foundation on which we will build up our country.
To illustrate, which is preferred, a good leader with a bad family life or a good leader with a good family life?
As far as I am concerned, it is incumbent upon me to strive to be a good father and husband in order for me to be a worthy public official. It is definitely a difficult challenge given all the obstructions and temptations along the way, but acknowledging that obligation is the first step towards fulfilling that commitment to God and family.
Perhaps some see it as self-serving or an unpatriotic act to put family first before country. One who reacted to my post raised a question: “Sir, if I may ask. What if what's good for your family isn't good for your country? Or what's good for your country wouldn't be good for your family?” A good point, indeed. But he left out one aspect—God. The three should be taken together, not singly. Above everything else, living according to God’s laws and principles. It doesn’t matter if what one does is good for his family and not good for the country or one does good for the country and not for his family if what one is doing is not right in the eyes of God. For example, if a person steals from the country for his family, it doesn’t make it right in the eyes of God. Or if one devotes all his time in the service of the people but he does not even have time to raise his child as an obedient and respectful son or daughter, it doesn’t make it right in the eyes of God. Therefore, all three aspects—God, Family, Country—must all be taken together and not separately. Living your life to be an ideal believer, family member or citizen is not an easy task. There are many obstacles and challenges that pull us down or block our ways, but that’s what makes it more precious and fulfilling to achieve. If it were that easy, then it wouldn’t be an accomplishment at all. End of QUOTE Posted by Bernard on Mar 17, '09 6:59 AM for everyone  "Good Choice!"
Only one thing is needed in our life, Jesus. Mary knew that listening and talking to Jesus was wiser than getting the preparations ready. Jesus is much more important than food, or any plans. We should always focus in Jesus and never forget about him.
Luke 10:38-42 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Posted by Bernard on Mar 16, '09 12:34 AM for everyone  God is in the inside business. New American Standard Bible (©1995)
"I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds. GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
I, the LORD, search minds and test hearts... King James Bible
I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, ... American Standard Version
I, Jehovah, search the mind, I try the heart, ... Bible in Basic English
I the Lord am the searcher of the heart, the tester of the thoughts, so that I may give to every man the reward of his ways, in keeping with the fruit of his doings. God looks at the heart. He often tries and tests his people. People are more interested in the externals... what they can wear, their houses, cars, make ups, hair, watches, shoes, clothes, etc.... EVERYTHING external. But God is intently looking at the heart and searches our inner most parts. Have you thought about this lately? Have you considered looking at your "INSIDES"? What's in your mind lately? - What consumes you?
- What are your fears and worries?
What's in your heart? - What drives you?
- What motivates you?
- What do you long for?
After one life to live campaign, I became more reflective of my ways. My prayer has been "Lord, search me, know my anxious thoughts, prove me..." I don't want to come to a place where I will reach the finish line and then regret. Help me, Lord, to think about my life now - where I can still make changes. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1Tim. 4:16) Posted by Bernard on Mar 7, '09 5:54 PM for everyone  Today, my blog is a little bit goaty. Thinking about something to thank God for, my thoughts went goaty.
Goat, blood and its meaning.
A goat, in jewish culture, is an animal that is used for sacrifice, offering and atonement. In the Philippines, we don't use goat much except as offerings for our local saints patronize by many filipino men. (Such as: San Gabriel, Ginebra and San Miguel, Grande.) Goat is the "pulutan" that makes the drinking session attractive and pleasurable. Nothing to do with sin, nor atonement.
Have you eaten a goat? Yup, I did. It tastes much like sheep or lamb. Not for everybody though. Its a bit fatty. Yesterday had a chance to follow up on the person I was discipling. Looking at the One to One Booklet (A discipleship material we use in Victory Fellowship), I read again the topic on Salvation. It talks about Jesus being a sacrifice and likened to an escape goat He bore all our sins and brought it out from God's presence. When the Father let the goat out, it was painful, yet meaningful. But because of that, it brought more sons and daughters closer to Him.
Atonement can be a heavy word.
It only means: "Unity". It denotes the concept of putting back together that was. Items broken, relationships severed and position lost.
Its an act that brings back that which was broken to its original state.
Unity with God was impossible with man before God let that escape goat out.
The next time you see a Goat. Remember to be grateful and think about your eternal access through Christ our Lord. The escape goat serves to remind us that God has taken our sins so far He doesn't want to see it again. And a new sense of innocence and love is restored back in our hearts.
Thank you Jesus for paving the way for us by taking all our sins and enabling us to have an access to God through your sacrifice.
Posted by Bernard on Mar 4, '09 10:39 PM for everyone  There are many things I started in life: a. A family b. Career c. Skill in music d. Blogs (I started blogging for One life to live. We decided to do this for 30 days. I want to finish it strong.) e. Relationships with friends and disciples
I want to end well. A good start is helpful but ending it well is al the more important.
Saying goes: "All's well that end's well"
The end is better than the beginning.
At the end, Jesus will reward people for faithfulness and fruitfulness.
I like the saying about the stamp:
How can we make sure we will end well: 1. Continue steadfastly 2. Keep the company of good mentors 3. Be open to correction 4. Stick to the task (diligently) 5. Find encouragement (up, down and side) 6. Think future
Jesus is our perfect example of a man who passionately want to finish the work. HIS MISSION--- "... to do the will of Him who sent me" HIS DESIRE---- ".... and to FINISH His work" (John 4:34) THEN HE SAID:
"IT IS FINISHED" Whew! What an example! He focused to finish His race.
Tapos. Posted by Bernard on Mar 4, '09 6:28 PM for everyone  While everyone is looking for addition, complication, extensions.
"MORE" and "MANY" might just be the thing that has made a lot of people dull and ineffective.
Worry is the enemy of focus, not just distraction.
Worry means "To divide the mind". If your mind is divided then you will be less effective.
Its more like the "well rounded person" syndrome. He is so well round and knows everything that he never specializes on anything. Never known for anything excellent. Yes, he knows a lot but is never a solution for any problem. He is divided.
What's your focus? Find it and stay on that course.
Do the ordinary in an extraordinary way.
What I learned from the sessions of our one life to live campaign: a. Find that work that you alone can do (PASSION) b. Love, forgive, and move on c. Find your successor and make him/her better than you d. Simplify and slow down (Breathe right) e. Find out what is worth doing, worth dying for and stay there
The more complicated we are, the less effective we become.
Check out Rice Broocks: Posted by Bernard on Mar 4, '09 1:42 AM for everyone  Just wanna share Daniela's devotion yesterday. This has been our prayer, that all our kids would be influential even in their devotion and quiet time with the Lord. They read their bibles daily, but I would love them to do formal writing.
This is a micro blog. Hope you like it.
Been encouraging them to write their thoughts lately. Here's one she wrote:
"Athlete's Foot"
If you clean your feet, your whole body will be clean. Unless Jesus washed us, we won't have a part of him, or he won't be part of us. Jesus washed the disciples feet to be an example for serving other people.
I learned to allow Jesus and not be hesitant for him to wash us and we should serve one another.
John 13:6-17 6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" 7Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." 8"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." 9"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!" Posted by Bernard on Mar 3, '09 7:06 PM for everyone  Someone once said, "You are what you eat". Well, No! I am not a broccoli, nor am I a tomato. I am what I am because of two things: God's Grace and My Choice.
Are you wondering if there is ever a chance for your life to improve and get better? You have a choice. You can look at God's Grace.
The difference between a winner and a quitter most of the time is PERSPECTIVE plus CHOICE.
If we want to leave a great legacy, it will take a different attitude, a different perspective and different script we tell ourselves.
Caleb is a different man. He has a different spirit. A different behavior. A different mindset. While everyone spoke negatively about the promised land,he spoke well of the good land the Lord has promised. He described the good fruit, the space, the opportunities, the potential life they could have in the land.
He was what was is because of the grace he has allowed to influence in his life.
Have you allowed the grace to influence you?
"Potential seeing" comes from a mind that has been infected by a BIG God. You can't see when you don't have this kind of intimacy with this wonderful maker and creator.
Power comes from a source. Influence is captured. Excellence is patterned from somewhere.
Who is your source? Are you connected?
TODAY, Leave a mark in your heart by beholding Him.
Stay Connected!
Some tips when you read the word:
Find ASPECT in your bible read: ATTITUDE to change SIN to forsake PROMISES to claim EXAMPLE to follow COMMAND to obey TRUTH to apply Posted by Bernard on Mar 3, '09 6:57 PM for everyone
 Elijah was so down and depressed. The angel of the Lord asked him to get up and eat. No fancy instructions. He asked him to do the natural. Sometimes we complicate Christianity. We super spiritualize things and get confused all the more. This is a basic biblical principle: "From Natural to Spiritual." 1 Cor 15:46 Start slow. Do what is natural. Do the basics. Do the obvious. If we obey the simple commands and the big miracles will start pouring in. Are you in debt? Then work and earn little by little. Are you tired? Then sleep for a while. (Like Elijah) Sleep and eat. Are you discouraged? Find a friend who can lift your spirits up. Are you hoping to fulfill God's great plan for you life? Then do quiet time -- daily. Are you wishing you can leave a legacy? The start going out and help people. If you want to leave a legacy: - Do the small important stuff - Do it consistently - Do it Daily - Do it Deliberately Only when we do the mundane and simple do we see progress in our lives. That's the miracle!
Posted by Bernard on Feb 28, '09 10:43 PM for everyone  Does Everyone Know What You Stand For, and What You Won't Stand For????
Talking about legacy, being a man of conviction is something I covet.
As a leader, you have to com municate what you stand for and what you won't stand for. People need to clearly know what your position is on different issues. You need to be able to answer the tough questions.
This is what I like about Ruffy.
When I met Ruffy Biazon way back in 1993, I immediately got impressed a t this man's humility and firmness in his position about certain things.
Now, that's kinda difficult to combine, position on certain things and keeping pride in check. 
People voice their opinions and beliefs and yet their lifestyle is directly opposing their beliefs. Not so with Ruffy. I have seen him as a businessman prior to joining his dad as his Chief of Staff.
Ruffy is a man of conviction.
You can see in his blogs, his position and insights on various political and national concerns. This man knows what ground he is standing on.
If I am given a chance to choose a mentor, I would like to be mentored and coached by this man. Gentle in his ways. Loving as a husband. Responsive as a father. Concerned as a citizen. Diligent as a leader. Prayerful in decision making. Decisive in every circumstance. He is not a soldier like his dad, but militant in spirit. Not a Marine commander but courageous in every respect. Not a Paratrooper, but alert and available as a friend.
Ruffy Biazon is his name. A godly man. Posted by Bernard on Feb 28, '09 11:13 AM for everyone  That's what my dad told me and my brother Ariel. To be a Marquez means you're working with somebody reliable. Well that's how my Dad trained us and exemplified when he was working on his business.
Reliability. Honesty. Friendship. That's Bert Marquez.
"Our name is your guarantee." is the unspoken motto of Marquez Bus Service.
You see, my dad is not a very wealthy tycoon. My dad is no President of any large corporation. But when it comes to reliability and service - that's him personified.
This is what I can boast about my dad. He has a BIG heart for people. He has time for his family. He is honest. He is reliable. He loves his family deeply. He is compassionate. He serves. He is benevolent especially to his own relatives and friends. He is a picture of a man who can be considered velvet and steel. Tough and persevering in work but loving and gentle with relationships.
My dad is 67 years old. He bikes daily. Plays golf. Swims with his grandson, Nathan. Brings Nathan to school and back. He walk with my mom daily. He is active. He is strong. He will be there for you at a call. All of us kids feel like we are from an elite group of military squadron. French legion. With just one call: he is there in a flash. Amazing Dad.
I will never exchange this wonderful and rich relationships with my loving dad for the world.
When I was a kid, I remember, my dad sat me down and looked me in the face he said "Son, whatever you do, protect our name."
Those words etched in my heart forever.
Protect the name.
One time, I ate in a siomai stand in Festival mall. I left in a hurry my because I needed to go to the movie house when I saw my wife arrive. While watching, I remembered I forgot to pay for the 2 siomai orders I got. This P56 peso deal was ringing in my head while watching the movie. I couldn't concentrate, can't follow the story line anymore. I kept hearing my dad say --- "Son, whatever you do, protect our name." I've got to do something. Need to get out and pay the store. Hurry.
That's influence. His voice of conscience is so clear every time there is a discrepancy.
Our name is the most precious legacy we will give to our future generation.
Our name has goodwill.
This is my dad's life verse. A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. Prov. 22:1
Thank you Lord for giving me a wonderful dad.
I am indebted. I will do the same with my children. | |
